"Don't worry there will be a queue for Fergie's job when the time comes. The call will go out: 'Can you be in Helsinki for an interview on Monday?' They'll say 'But the job's in Manchester!' and United will reply 'Aye, but the back of the queue is in Helsinki.' "
TARIBO WEST
Taribo was a man with a mission at Derby last season - but who can save The Rams this time around?TARIBO WEST
"God used Derby to prove to all that He is still fully in control of life.
"He said to me: 'Go and save the club', and I obeyed, and Derby escaped relegation.
"
It was the power of God."
It was the power of God."
PASCAL NOUMA
Marseille striker Pascal Nouma has revealed how he used to solve clashes with his manager at Besiktas, Nevio Scala.
"He (Scala) was like a father to me, although I did throw my mobile phone at him once!
"Well, I threw two phones actually. I admit I lost my temper but, luckily neither of them hit him. I'm glad of that because I really do love him."
ROBBIE SAVAGE
Leicester's controversial midfielder admits that Peter Taylor's dismissal, not to mention his own reputation, may cost him dear.
"As for the new manager, I'm a little bit anxious because I know every other manager hates me!"
BRIAN CLOUGH
The former Nottingham Forest boss again makes an appearance in quotes of the week for his comments on Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson.
"Alex Ferguson has done so much, created such good teams and won so many trophies, we trust him. Everybody at United feels they can rely on him. It's like your fishmonger. If you trust him, you'll buy your fish from him for years. If he sells you a piece of haddock that's off, then you'll never trust him quite so implicitly again."
GIANLUCA VIALLI
The forward thinking, politically correct Watford boss is not sure where he stands on the issue of girls playing 'men's' sports.
"Football is not a sport for girls, although girls play it as well, but players at times can get badly injured if we are not careful."
STEVE BRUCE
The Crystal Palace boss admits what he would like to say to referee David Elleray after their defeat to Portsmouth
"It doesn't help when you are playing against 13 people.
"I've known Mr Elleray a long time and I'd love to say what I really think about him but I cannot for obvious reasons."
"I've known Mr Elleray a long time and I'd love to say what I really think about him but I cannot for obvious reasons."
DARIO GRADI
The veteran Crewe coach thinks that Geoff Thomas may need to work on his fitness.
"Geoff's body gave out and he will have to get fitter to last the games."
OLEG ROMANTSEV
The bitter Russian coach had some harsh words for English referee Graham Poll after his side's 2-1 defeat to Slovenia...
"He is a sniveling creep, who simply robbed us."
....but feels confident that his side can beat the Faroe Islands on Wednesday:
"We must win our last two matches and if we can't beat teams from sheep-rearing islands, we don't deserve to go to the World Cup finals."
SHOLA AMEOBI
When England Under-21 coach David Platt asked Shola Ameobi what Bobby Robson calls him, the young striker replied: "Carl Cort."
DARIO GRADI
The Crewe boss puts in a nutshell why transfers seem to be more protracted these days.
"These transfers are only straight forward when you offer double what the player is worth."
GRAEME SOUNESS
The Blackburn boss questions whether Tottenham officials are in tune with life outside of the Metropolis, following Alan Kelly's stunted move to White Hart Lane.
"He was told 'We're not going to give you any more money because the house prices in North London are the same as in the North West of England.' Whoever said that can't have been North of Watford for a very long time."
DICK ADVOCAAT
Asked if his priority was to sign more Scottish players, Advocaat replied: "Yes, but with all respect, if you can find them I will give you my telephone number."
Asked if his priority was to sign more Scottish players, Advocaat replied: "Yes, but with all respect, if you can find them I will give you my telephone number."
SIR ALEX FERGUSON
The Manchester United boss comments on Wes Brown's second own goal of the season. "Wes Brown must nearly be our top goalscorer."
The Manchester United boss comments on Wes Brown's second own goal of the season. "Wes Brown must nearly be our top goalscorer."
BOBBY ROBSON
Newcastle United`s elderly manager could be up to some monkey business this summer. "The race for young talent is hairy.
Newcastle United`s elderly manager could be up to some monkey business this summer. "The race for young talent is hairy.
OSCAR TELLEZ
Alaves defender Oscar Tellez was clearly unhappy with the referee when his side crashed to a 2-0 defeat to Athletic Bilbao in the Basque derby.
Alaves defender Oscar Tellez was clearly unhappy with the referee when his side crashed to a 2-0 defeat to Athletic Bilbao in the Basque derby.
"This man must have been born in a different era. For example, in times of war. I believe that he would have been the only person to stand up to Hitler. His attitude, like that of his fellow referees is.
GORDON HILL
The one-time Manchester United winger faced the wrath of Chester City fans when the Deva Stadium faithful vented their frustrations at the running of club affairs at the pre-season with tiny Connah's Quay.
"You expect that sort of thing in Greece or Italy - not at Connah's Quay Nomads."
SERGEI REBROV
The diminutive Tottenham hit-man tells on how he tries to avoid parts of inner-city London.
"I admire the parks in London although, on my way to the city from my home in Chigwell, I pass such neglected Arab districts that I instinctively press my foot on the accelerator."
SIR ALEX FERGUSON
Despite a frenzy of transfer activity, the Manchester United boss reveals exactly who it is who wears the trousers in the Ferguson household.
"The mobile has been on all the time. It hasn't stopped ringing. I have to wait till my wife is at the shops before I can ring back!"
SAM HAMMAM The wacky Cardiff chairman on the finer points of new signing Spencer Prior's contract and how they hope to avoid any problems with the EU.
"With Spencer being non-Welsh, he needs to prove to the people of Wales that he understands the place - then he can become a true leader. Everybody knows that the Welsh shag sheep - if he's not going to shag sheep, then nobody will trust him here. We gave him two to choose from - either Dolly, she's a black sheep, or Mimi, who is white. He chose Dolly. Our only real concern is that the EU may have a problem with Spencer's contract. That shouldn't be too difficult though, because Neil Kinnock is very influential there and, as a Welshman, he also shags sheep!"
PETTER RUDI
The Norwegian international bemoans his poor performance in front of watching scouts.
The Norwegian international bemoans his poor performance in front of watching scouts.
"I am not even thinking about a move to Rangers now. I know Dick Advocaat was over here to watch me but I played s***."
ANDERS SVENSSON
Southampton's new signing explains that it was The Saints' lofty ambitions that brought him to the South Coast:
Southampton's new signing explains that it was The Saints' lofty ambitions that brought him to the South Coast:
"They aim to become a stable mid-table club and that is inspiring."
RICHIE FORAN
The young Irish ace explains why he missed a curfew with the Under-21 side: "If someone gives me the opportunity I will prove I am not the lunatic everyone thinks I am. I didn't run amok, I wasn't on the gargle, I didn't do anything crazy (on Saturday night). It was woman trouble which made me get back late. I know that's not an excuse, but I wasn't out drinking or anything like that. This is all my own fault and I am disgusted with myself. I apologised to Don, but I accept he had no choice but to exclude me from the squad.
The young Irish ace explains why he missed a curfew with the Under-21 side: "If someone gives me the opportunity I will prove I am not the lunatic everyone thinks I am. I didn't run amok, I wasn't on the gargle, I didn't do anything crazy (on Saturday night). It was woman trouble which made me get back late. I know that's not an excuse, but I wasn't out drinking or anything like that. This is all my own fault and I am disgusted with myself. I apologised to Don, but I accept he had no choice but to exclude me from the squad.
But I don't think Aberdeen were right to pull out of the move."
NEIL HARRIS
As well as his courage, you also have to admire the Millwall striker's honesty in telling how he discovered his testicular cancer. "I was watching TV late on a Monday. I was sitting there with my hands down the shorts - as blokes do - and, suddenly, I felt something."
As well as his courage, you also have to admire the Millwall striker's honesty in telling how he discovered his testicular cancer. "I was watching TV late on a Monday. I was sitting there with my hands down the shorts - as blokes do - and, suddenly, I felt something."
Best of luck in your recovery Neil!!!