Drink and Getting Laid, A guide!

Last updated : 14 February 2002 By
Drink : Beer.
Personality : Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach : Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink : Blender drinks with umbrella.
Personality : Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach : Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink : Mixed drinks - no umbrellas
Personality : Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Approach : If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

Drink : Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask)
Personality : Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach : Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

Drink : Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc
Personality : Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has
absolutely no clue
Approach : Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.

Drink : Baileys.
Personality : Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach : Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

Drink : Shorts (Vodka, Aftershock etc.).
Personality : Hanging with male pals or looking to get drunk...and naked
Approach : Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.

IF MEN DRINK -As always, very simple and clear cut.

Cider : He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor / student and wants to get laid.

Premium Local Beer : He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Bitter : He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid.

Guinness : The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

Wine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

Vodka or Brandy : Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

Port : Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

Whisky : He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

Jack Daniels : Not as masculine as the whisky drinker,knows all feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

Tequila : Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc : He's gay (Blatantly)..