Manchester United

Last updated : 08 February 2002 By
Fergie is convinced and is so desperate for no one else to snatch him up that he signs the boy without looking at him himself. The boy arrives in Manchester for Saturday's game, and is on the bench.

With ten minutes to go Fergie makes a substitution and points to the new Bosnian boy: "This is your big chance, son. Go out there and do the business for us".

The lad strips off his shell suit and takes to the pitch. In those dying minutes he's a revelation, scoring a hat trick. The Stretford End goes mad.

After the game Fergie gives the new boy a big hug in the changing room. "Great performance son. Go and give your parents a ring at home. They'll be so proud of you. You can use the phone in my office". The lad goes into the boss's office and rings his mum.

"Mum, I've just had the best debut, I scored a hat-trick! .....

There is a pause.....

"Why are you crying Mum? Is everything okay?"

"No, son, today has been the worst yet. Your dad has been shot, they've raped your sister, and the house has been burnt to the ground."

"God, mum, that's terrible; I'm really sorry"....!!

"So you should be. It was your idea for us to move to Manchester!!!!!"