Spurs jokes

Last updated : 27 March 2002 By
SPURS TABLECLOTHS - Suitable for any occasion but tend to slip down the table after a short time - £4:99

SPURS VIDEOS - All the highlights from the last 20 years action. This 10 min video, including lots of re-runs, is a perfect gift for any fan - £9:99

SPURS BANNERS - Come complete with interchangeable slogans Eg: - "GROSS OUT", "SUGAR OUT", "GRAHAM OUT", "LET ME OUT" etc.. £15:00

"OUR LITTLE HERO" KEYRINGS - Come complete with model of Alan Gilzean (Our Hero) attached. - £0.50p each.

SPURS JOKE BOOK - A MUST for all fans. This 900 page book is full of all the best jokes ever told about the club. - £25:00

SPURS CONDOMS - Come in sizes from "Little Hero" to "BIG LES". Ideal for the pricks in the Paxton Road End. - £0:75p for life-times supply. (3)

SPURS BRA - One for the ladies. This bra, in team colours, comes with good support but no cups- £14:99

SPURS 'LADIES' TOWELS - The 'Darren Anderton' sanitary towel, complete with instructions, "In for a week, Out for a month". - £1:00 each

KEEPER'S GLOVE - A must for any fans at the back of the stand, or near the corner flags to catch any shots our lads may have at goal. £8:99

LEAGUE DIRECTORY - An item for the more discerning fan. This quality publication gives detailed directions to every 'Nationwide' League Ground in the country. A snip at just £25:00

SPURS LIPSTICK - Ideal for kissing goodbye. (To the Premier League, as worn by our players) £0:99p each

BARGAIN BASEMENT - Don't miss the annual clearance sale of players. These come in all ages, (many are free of charge, spares or repairs)

A Tottenham supporter walks past a shop window and notices a video for sale entitled "Tottenham the golden years" The supporter asks the shopkeeper "how much for the cassette mate" the shopkeeper replies "£200" "£200 for a cassette?" says the fan?. "You're having a laugh" "Oh no" the shopkeeper replies "The cassette's only a fiver, but the Betamax player will cost you £195".